Really Looking Forward to 2011

1 Dec

This year 2010 has really been a good year for me, it was the perfect year to find myself. I use to think that I knew myself soooo well only to realize that no one else really knew me at all. The person I was appearing to be on the outside just wasn’t who I am on the inside. My outside person seemed to be rude, stubborn, mean, quiet, and just weird…. while I do admit I can be stubborn at times and mean I find that I feel I am not rude but straight forward, not quiet but reserved, and I find that people telling me that I am weird is just a way to say that they are unable to brighten there horizons as far as I have. There was a lot of things I carried on my back and a few chips on my shoulders when I drug myself into 2010 though and it really took me 90% of this year for me to get them off. Going into 2011 I refuse to take any unnecessary baggage with me, I’m not taking any regrets into next year because I have finally realized that EVERYTHING in my life bad that has happened was God’s way of showing me that what I thought I wanted was so much less then what I actually deserved! I grew a lot this year, overall I personally feel as though I have become a better woman… definitely a happier woman then I was last year really then I’ve been since 2007. I feel like I have been living in a fog, living some one else’s life bearing some one else’s burdens because the mistakes I have alloted and allowed myself to make these past few years couldn’t have been me. I’ve been to the point where I was so disappointed in myself yet so lost in confusion that every time I tried to dig myself out of my hole I only fell in 20 times deeper. I’ve learned to not shoulder blame but instead to accept that my actions are wrong make a change for the better and move on. Life is too short for me to sit around waiting for some miraculous sign to drop on my head out of the sky so I am throwing all my preconceived notions about life to the wind and living exactly the way I want to in 2011.

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